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25 November 2006 @ 11:58 pm
PANIC!  
I'm so dead. I'm really and seriously dead.
I just realized that it's only 61 days until I'll have to hand in my sort-of-thesis on coffee for my Biology course. I have no clue what to write or how or when.
Anyway, my current grades are not that fantastic. And everything counts for my final exams. Biology was a C, English a B. I have already given up on Art b/c the theoretical part is something I'll never get into my head. I guess that rules out studying some kind of Art or Graphics, too. But right now Religious Education and German and especially English and Biology are important.
And Maths. And everything. And I don't know how I should get through all this.
I need to prepare my final exams and I need to learn for my regular test and that all at once.
At the 11th of May I'm going to write my Religious Education exam, 21st and 24th are reserved for Biology and English. Almost exactly a month later - from the 11th to 22nd of June - the oral exams are taking place. I picked German.

I guess I'll have some nervous breakdowns during that time. It's so hard to concentrate on what I CAN do when I'm ever so often reminded of what I CAN'T.
Hell, I want out of this.

And I guess my muse is about to die. Honestly, he's like a dog or something. He feels the tensions. Right now he's sitting on the sofa and looking really afraid.


Anyway, I look up to all those people I look up to and I see how much they accomplished, how they got what they wanted and feel the potential in myself but I can't get it out. It's there but nothing becomes of it. It's frustrating. If becoming better and making the best out of oneself isn't the point... I don't know what the point is.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings and now I'll go and cry myself to sleep.
 
 
numb
numb
the sound of my rotating brain
 
 
( Have you seen my meds? )
Azraeldrschatten on November 25th, 2006 11:41 pm (UTC)
Hey, über was genau soll denn deine Bio Arbeit sein? welcher Aspekt von Kaffee, seine Wirkung auf den Organismus und so was?
Wenn du willst kann ich mal win bißchen rumsuchen was es an Literatur so gibt, hab Zugang zu ziemlich vielen Journals.

Und tot bin ich auch gerade, schieb meine 3. Nachtschicht in dieser Woche. Also lass uns zusammen leiden *g*
the oncoming whirlwind: gerbil: kat - cleaning xxxscap3goat on November 26th, 2006 10:05 am (UTC)
Natürlich Kaffee als Pflanze, ein bisschen der "botanische Hintergrund", geschichtliche und aktuelle Sachen/Statistiken, aber vor allem Wirkstoffe und Wirkung. Über Koffein findet man zur Not auf Wikipedia noch was, aber alles, was ich aus der Bibliothek hab ist entweder zu lasch (ein Buch über die Geschichte von Kaffee, das schon 200 Jahre alt is) oder dann aber was über die Entwicklung neuer Koplungstechniken zur chromatographischen Analyse der Bestandteile des Kaffees. confused

Wenn du da was findest wäre das echt klasse!
Azraeldrschatten on November 26th, 2006 10:10 am (UTC)
ich werd einfach sehen was ich finde und schick es dir. Wird sich um .pdfs handeln, sollte aber kein Problem sein oder?
the oncoming whirlwind: tos: crew - make a wishscap3goat on November 26th, 2006 10:12 am (UTC)
Nein, alles kein Problem! Danke! knuddel
Wo hast du denn da Zugang?
Azraeldrschatten on November 26th, 2006 10:16 am (UTC)
Ich sitz hier am MPI für marine Mikrobio und wir haben zugang zu einem OVID-Server mit dem man quer über verschiedene gebite suchen kann. Was dabei raus kommt sind meist wissentschaftliche Paper, die wahrscheinlich viel zu speziel für dich sind. ich werd mich bemühen die "sinnvollsten" mal rauszusuchen. (Damit du mal ne Vorstellung hast, alleine ne Suche mit Coffee als keyword lieferte über 5000 Treffer *g*)